Internal rhymes and their importance in song translation

Internal rhyme is a very common resource in the lyrics of theatrical and film musicals and a signature feature of songwriters like Cole Porter, Oscar Hammerstein II, Stephen Sondheim, Stephen Schwartz…

Unfortunately, the rush imposed by the dubbing industry is detrimental to this type of rhyme, because it is not always respected when adapting lyrics. However, in this blog spot, we want to defend their use and show that in recent years there have been many cases where adaptors have not given up on delivering faithful versions, not only in terms of meaning but also in terms of respecting the formal aspects that are so distinctive of this type of text.

Today we will focus on “The Hunchback of Notre Dame”, specifically on the second verse of the song that opens the film: “The Bells of Notre Dame”.

We have compared the adaptation in six different languages: Swedish, Finnish, Norwegian, German, Catalan and Spanish. In absolutely all of them, the internal rhyme has been preserved.

The reason for choosing some of these languages is also to emphasize that countries such as Sweden, Finland and Norway, also dub their audiovisual material, even though we are sometimes told otherwise.

ORIGINAL VERSION

But a trap had been laid for the gypsies

And they gazed up in fear and alarm

At a figure whose clutches were iron as much as the bells

The bells of Notre Dame

We have highlighted in bold the easiest rhyme to detect, as it is found at the end of the verse and musical phrase: alarm/Dame. On the other hand, we have highlighted in red the internal rhyme, in which the union of two words such as “much” and “as” rhymes with “clutches”, a type of complex rhyme that is very common in English.

Below you'll find the adaptation into the six languages mentioned above, marking the rhymes that have been kept in the same position.

SWEDISH

(Adaptation: Monica Forsberg)

Men det var någon som gillrat en fälla

Och zigenarna såg då med skräck

På en man lika kall som de klockors metall, som nyss ringt

En sång i Notre Dame

FINNISH

(Adaptation: Pekka Lehtosaari)

Silloin näin he nyt joutuivat ansaan

Ja he katsoivat rankaisijaan

Oli tuomari julma, soi katseessaan turma, kun soi

Kun soi tuo Notre Dame

NORWEGIAN

(Adaptation: Harald Mæle)

Men en felle var lagt for de fire,

Og de stirret i redsel på han,

Som var fryktet av flokker lik bevende klokker, som slår;

Som slår i Notre-Dame

GERMAN

(Adaptation: Frank Lenart)

Doch sie tappten dann in eine Falle!

Und sie blickten voll Schrecken und Gram,

In das kalte Gesicht des gefürchteten Richters, und sahen.."

...den Wächter Notre Dame's.

CATALAN

(Adaptation: Albert Mas-Griera)

Han parat una trampa als gitanos!

I ara miren amb ulls esverats

El genet misteriós que emergeix de la fosca dels molls,

Els molls de Notre-Dame.

CASTELLANO

(Adaptation: María Ovelar)

Pero van a caer en la trampa

Y ante ellos, altiva, verán

Una horrible figura de voz más oscura que el son

El son de Notre Dame

To conclude, we find it interesting to observe how the film's adaptors into different languages have considered it important to focus their efforts on these details which may seem insignificant to the untrained viewer. Now, if the authors of the original version have spent so much time and effort polishing those details and bringing cohesion to the text through the use of this type of rhyme, almost certainly they would like to see them reflected in the adapted version.